Leaving house and home

I came from Iththavil in Pallai [Jaffna] to St. Anthony's Church in Vanni mostly by walking, one month ago. We were picked up by lorry for part of the way, but most of the way we walked. It was very tiring, and I had to care for my one-year old daughter, Sinduja. But we had to leave because the government was shelling the area. We had heard about this Church being an open shelter for refugees, so I decided to come here. I came to Vanni during the last fighting also, and then returned home during peacetime. It was upsetting to have to pick up and leave everything behind again, as we have so many times before.

Life here is very difficult … everything is difficult. There is only one kitchen for all the families here, and even that is very small and inadequate. And now that the raining season has begun, we are outside in the pouring rain. Only to sleep do we go inside because it is very crowded and hot. There's not enough food either. I've already sold all our things to buy food, and now there's nothing left. I can withstand the hunger but the kids can't — they're just children, they don't know how to withstand pain yet..

Most of my life I've lived as a displaced person. In 1998 I stayed in Jaffna while the fighting was going on, because you can get more conveniences, like kerosene, there. But the Army was torturing people badly during that time. They took eight people from our refugee camp, including my sister and her children. They were brutally tortured and the children were killed. My sister has not spoken since. So this time we came here, where we don't have to be so afraid.

-Sutha Paraswamy, 28 years