Married to a Tiger

To marry a fighter partly makes me very happy, and partly is very difficult. Now I must take care of the home, but I'm very proud of him...

If someone got sick, generally the husband would be there to help and take me to medicine. But here I have to do everything myself. For example, when my son got very sick for three days, I couldn't leave his side and I didn't even bathe. I had to do everything myself. I couldn't even get time to change my clothes. Others saw me and asked if my husband had left me and we were separated because it was so difficult for me.

If I had married a civilian, I would have had a lot of help in the home. But I can't ask him to stay, because he should go. That is his duty...

Once I read his diary and it said if he was killed, to take care of the kids and be careful. He wrote about how we can't live without getting our country...

The international community calls LTTE cadres terrorists without knowledge, they can't say that...if they came and stayed with us they'd know he's not a terrorist...We need a separate country. Eelam needs recognition...

But sometimes we are very sad that he's not at home, but we can't change anything...

My younger son asks when he comes home, immediately when he is again leaving. He must have learned that from me.

My husband used to say that without a state, what's a house. Now my older son has learned that...I think he's growing up in his father's path.

-Nadeswary Ratnalingam, 25 years

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