I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a cold, or anything that involves a stuffy nose, as much as I do now. So today’s the first day of the fast. To be honest, today wasn’t that bad. Yeah there were instances where my stomach hurt soo bad that i just needed it sit down and sit still for a bit, but overall, today wasn’t that bad. Unfortunately, I hate to break this to myself, but today’s only the first day.
The biggest killer about today wasn’t even the not eating part, but it was smelling food. Yeah, smelling food, any kind of food, was like someone picked you up and drop kicked you, it hurt. Especially knowing that it was there, and that you couldn’t have any of it. I also don’t think I’ve ever really noticed the different aromas of food as much as I did today.

This is my first fast ever, and I usually eat a ton of food everyday, so I’m well aware that it’s going to be difficult. A lot of people, including my mom for some time as well, have said no, why are you doing something like this, it’s bad for you, etc… Here’s what I think, well first off, why are we doing this? Because people are suffering in “shelters” with no food or water or any of the basic necessities. No humanitarian aid is delivered to these “shelters” and people are not allowed to leave these places. There are no options for them, they can only die. If that isn’t bad enough, these sri lankan government claimed “safe zones” are being bombarded with cluster bombs and many other types of bombs. This situation is sickening, and although I was born in the US, my roots are from there, and I am very proud to be of the Tamil heritage. Those are my people suffering back there, and I believe that if I truly consider myself Tamil, then it’s my job, my duty to do anything I can for my people. Here’s the response I give, there’s small children, babies, all struggling without any food or water, and their bodies are much much smaller than mine, and they are going through these miserable conditions. I am doing this for the sake of them, to try to raise awareness and make people do something to try to save them. If everyone shows at least half the concern that they do about me and our group fasting, because we can at least drink water and have a vitamin and some gatorade, and it’s a lot hotter over there, then I believe that their situation would improve a great deal more than how it is now.

I hear Tamil people talk about Tamil culture all the time. They bring their children to cultural events, wear the traditional clothes, speak the language, eat the food, and of course, go to Toronto at least once a year to be with the Tamil community over there. I think that is a great thought, I love being Tamil, I think that being Tamil makes up a huge part of me, I love the culture, everything about it, but what I notice around here is that when it comes to Tamil parties and Tamil cultural events, there is a much higher percentage of people who show up than when there is a memorial service, human rights meeting… I don’t like to call out others, but it would be nice for people to understand that if our people are gone, and our country has disappeared, then there won’t be a Tamil culture to go to, there is no homeland anymore, and we all have to take action immediately to save our country, our people, our language, our identity.

For now, I’ve found a solution, there’s noodles and everything cooking downstairs, and I can smell it so strongly from up here, so I’ve decided I’m going to walk around the place with a clothespin over my nose. I really wish I had a cold right now.